When communicating with my partner online or on the phone, it often happens to get to a point where I have no idea of what else to talk about, it just seems like all the topics have been drained, and there’s nothing else to talk about.
It feels bad because I do want to continue talking, but the awkward silences that kick in make me and my partner a little scared – “Is that it, have we drained all the conversational topics possible? Are we now doomed to boring conversations?”
And even thought that is DEFINETLY NOT true, and we can talk about an infinity of ideas, topics and subjects – the Awkward Silences that kick in sometimes make us feel deeply uncomfortable.
That’s why in this article I want to share with you 10 of my best ideas on how to kill awkward silences and keep a dying conversation going.
1. Resume The Last Idea Discussed
This works great because it creates continuity in the conversation and makes it seem like flowing naturally.
Example: She told you about how she recently spoke to her mother, and after that - the conversation seems to go nowhere, then you could say: “So, you said that you talked to your mother…Did she say anything about me?”
2. Relating Subjects
That’s a great way to change the subject in a very smooth way. We use this technique all the time to change subjects when we talk to people, but very rarely we do it consciously. And because we rarely do it consciously we forget about it in situation where it could be really helpful. This technique is also a great way to lead conversations to a desired subject.
Example: She says something about the party she went to last night, and then you could say – “Sounds like you had fun, this reminds me of my birthday party where….” They keyword here is the this reminds me of expression that allows you to link completely different subjects in a very smooth way.
3. Have A Prepared List Of Topics To Talk About
This might sound silly but it’s not! This actually gives you a very strong feeling of confidence and makes your conversations much more relaxed, compared to the stress of “shit, what should I say next??” Now you know exactly what you’re gonna talk about next, so you can simply focus on making the most of your current topic.
Personally, any time I think of an interesting topic, I hear a story, a joke or I come up with a question for her – I write it down in a notebook, and when I talk to her on Skype or phone I keep the notebook somewhere close to me, in case a dreadful awkward silence somehow kicks in.
So, I strongly encourage you to make a mind list or even put on paper some topic ideas that you plan on discussing with your girlfriend and save yourself the stress and frustration of coming up with creative ideas on the spot.
4. Ask About Her Plans For The Rest Of The Day
I find myself using this question a lot when I feel like the conversation is dying. And I do that for three reasons: 1) because I want to keep the conversation going by getting her talking about her plans and then myself talking about my own plans (and this usually opens a lot of other conversational topics), 2) because I want to know what she’s gonna be doing later on that day , and 3) because I could easily lead the conversation to a potential ending from there on, if need would be.
5. Make The Silence Seem “On Purpose”
When you’re talking on Skype you could also make that usually awkward silence seem on purpose, like you intentionally did it. And you could do that by simply not saying anything but looking at her (when video chatting), warmly smiling and giving her a compliment “Ohh, you look so cute today!”.
You can also allow the silence to kick in and then just make fun of it….”Yeah, it seems like we lost our speaking abilities, sweetie!” or “Mmmmm, let’s take advantage of this silence and do some meditation together” J
6. Make Some Observations
That’s a simple one too and it’s great because it keeps the talking going until you find something more substantial to talk about.
What you have to do is to simply look at her (assuming that you’re video chatting) and find something you could comment on. It could be her hair, her face, her clothes, her accessories, her room etc.
Anything that you could make a simple observation about would do the job. Something like “I love the color of your nails” (that if she didn’t brag about it already), or “What’s up with that picture on your wall?” etc.
7. “Let Me Show You Something”
Can’t tell you enough how many times this simple expression saved our dying conversations. What you do is simply telling her that you want to show her something and then you simply find something to show her. It could be something on the internet or in your room (it doesn’t really matter what) …a video, a picture, a piece of clothing, a pen…whatever.
The idea is to change the focus of the conversation on something else, other than “not having what to talk about”.
8. Ask Her To Wait A Second
In case none of the above ideas help or you simply forget about them, you can always use this simple yet tricky idea to gain some time to think – “baby, wait a second…I have to/forgot to do something”. And use those 30 seconds to think of something to talk about, but don’t forget to also prepare a “reason” for why you left/stopped the conversation.
9. Use Dying Conversations To Your Advantage
Instead of dealing with a dying conversation, take the initiative and use it to your advantage by asking her to close her eyes and leading her into a hypnotic state, just the way I explain in this article.
Fulfill her desires and fantasies and get her dreaming about being with you as soon as possible. Unnecessary to mention that this will get her extremely attracted to you.
10. Expanding Topics
And lastly, this is a great technique that I like to use in order to prevent the situations where we have nothing to talk about.
What I do is:
- I ask her at the beginning of the conversation what she did interesting that day. And she tells me that she did for example 5 things (went to work, spoke to a good friend of hers, bought a new dress, ate some ice-cream, and took a shower),
- Now, that she told me these 5 things, I keep them in mind and then I take them one by one and expand on them by asking her different clarifying questions.
As a result this usually makes for a great 1-2 hour long conversation or maybe even more especially if we talk about what I also did or plan to do that day.
And my last recommendation for you is to keep these 10 suggestions on a note somewhere where you can see it, and any time you find yourself not having what to talk about - just give it a glance.
And by the way, this article is an excerpt from my popular book "What Else Do I Say?" where I share with you 50 creative ideas on how to have fun and exciting Skype talks, never run out of things to say and avoid awkward silences forever.