Long Distance Relationship Advice For Men

Making Long Distance Relationships Work – Recent Interview With Me

So recently a girl by the name of Laura, contacted me for an interview.

And although I don’t agree for a lot of interviews, she was very sweet because she said she needs the interview for her university paper. She’s studying to be a journalist, and needs to interview an expert on long distance relationships, so I agreed to answer her questions. 

And after she sent me the questions and I answered them, I realized that there is a lot of great insight in these answers, and I should probably send you this interview too. Because you can learn A LOT from it. 

Check it out and enjoy the insights.

Making a Long Distance Relationship Work – Interview With Livius Besski

1. What do you think is the most important factor in a long-distance relationship?

You see, the advice I give is different than most, because I don’t believe so much in the “circumstance” of a relationship. People tend to believe that the type of relationship makes it more or less successful. In my experience I found that long distance or not, the success of a relationship lies in how secure the people are. This means that if two people are mature enough to not NEED each other, but CHOOSE to be together, because they enjoy each other’s presence – then a relationship will work no matter the circumstance, for as long as that relationship makes sense for those two people. 

So here I said a few things. One is that we must be mature enough to not need our partner. This means to recognize that we are whole and complete human beings, that can function autonomously, without vitally needing another person. We can live a very exciting and complete life just by ourselves. Especially if we realize that “I am the love of my life” not my partner. 

Therefore I must treat myself like I am the love of my life. I must give myself the love and respect, and exciting life that I want. From this place our partner is not someone we cling onto, but someone we ALLOW into our life, if they are a good fit for us, and if it makes sense for both of us. From this place we can be totally honest and authentic in our relationship, because we’re not trying to “protect” the relationship by sacrificing our authenticity (and happiness) like most people do.

The other thing that I said is that we stay with someone as long as it makes sense. So no matter if it’s long distance or not, just because we start a relationship doesn’t mean we must die together. It means we stay for as long as this relationship is making both our lives better. It’s only out of fear that we can cling onto a relationship that is clearly not making sense, and nothing that we try to do to fix it works. 

Therefore the most important factor to make a long distance relationship work is becoming a secure and autonomous person. From that place any relationship can work and be enjoyed. 

2. Why do you think long-distance relationships are not that appealing to people?

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Relationships Are Based On Choice, Not Neediness

What most people forget is that a healthy relationship is based on CHOICE not NEED.

You don’t need to be with your partner, you chose to be with them. 

If you NEED them, it means you’re not complete, you lack something, so you’re needy about their presence in your life. There’s a hint of desperation there. So it’s about your need, your lack and your desperation. 

If you CHOSE them, that’s because they are a good fit for you. It’s no longer about your need, but about them being a great partner.

You’re NOT coming from a place of LACK, but from a place of COMPLETENESS, and you chose to ADD some more joy to your life by choosing to have a relationship with them.

The problem with feeling like you NEED this relationship and this person is that you end up giving up your right to be happy in your relationship, just to keep the relationship alive. 

It’s almost funny, how at the beginning, you come into the relationship because you want to be happier. And then once you become attached to your partner, and think you need them, that’s when you sacrifice your happiness, just to not lose her. 

So you come for the happiness, and stay out of neediness, while sacrificing the thing you came for in the first place: your happiness in the relationship. 

If however, you approach the relationship from a place of CHOICE, you don’t forget why you chose this person in the first place – to have a more joyful life.

And if at some point your partner is NOT treating you the way you want to be treated, you have the right to feel disappointed with their behavior and REMIND them that they need to step up their behavior. 

Now you are free to stay or to leave the relationship. And if your partner consistently neglects your needs, then you’re ready to let her go, because you don’t NEED her, you chose to be with her… but only as long as it makes sense, only as long as the relationship makes you happy. 

If she makes you more STRESSED, then it doesn’t make ANY SENSE to remain in this relationship.

Another thing we often FORGET when we begin a relationship is that… it’s JUST A RELATIONSHIP. This is not something meant to last forever, this is not the only person that you can be with, this is not something you must STICK with no matter what. 

Not at all. This is just a relationship, that you chose to be in, as long as it makes you happy, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t make ANY SENSE to stay in this relationship. 

And it’s time to MOVE ON, and eventually find a BETTER relationship. One that will make you happier. 

Free Neediness Guide

I have created a practical guide to share with you 4 steps to reduce neediness and regain your girlfriend's attraction.​

Become Ireplaceable In 3 Steps

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My job as a teacher of love is to help MEN move from being INSECURE to IRREPLACEABLE.

Today I want to share with you a few ideas on how to do that. 

Step 1 – Recognize your own worth. 

You are unique. I know it sounds like a cliche, but you ARE UNIQUE, and I can’t wait to explain to you why you are unique, and HOW you can bring this to the table in your relationship. 

You are perfect. Again it sounds strange. But you really ARE PERFECT, in all of your imperfection. Humans are by their nature imperfect. So being imperfect, means being PERFECTLY HUMAN. 

You are loveable. Yes you deserve to loved EXACTLY as you are. In fact trying to make yourself MORE lovable will only make you seem more desperate. The key to your happy love life, is to finally EMBRACE yourself as you are. And to realize that you deserve to loved for who you are!

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I Got Engaged! The Story and Photos

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This summer has been kind of crazy for me!

And that’s because I finally found the courage to make the BIGGEST decision of my life…

To ask my girlfriend, the woman who’s been kindly loving me all these 7 years, to marry me! 

I really did it!

I planned the whole thing, and really surprised her one day with a beautiful dinner close to a water fountain.. and in front of a gigantic castle, along with some of our dearest friends and family…

…and even in front of HER MOM!

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The 4 Levels of Trust In a Relationship


After years of long distance relationship experience and research on this topic I’ve come to realize that the level of trust in a long distance relationship VARIES from couple to couple. Some couples trust each other more, others not so much.

The interesting observation here is that the level of trust that exists between partners determines how happy and how successful their long distance relationship will be.

But what’s even more important to point out here is that VERY FEW couples get to a point of Healthy Trust, where they trust each other proactively instead of just trusting BLINDLY.

Below I have identified the 4 possible levels of trust in a long distance relationship.

And what I want you to do is to read them carefully and ask yourself at which level of trust is your relationship situated at right now?

This will help you understand why are you so stressed and jealous and what you can do to overcome all this suffering.

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