Relationships Are Based On Choice, Not Neediness

What most people forget is that a healthy relationship is based on CHOICE not NEED.

You don’t need to be with your partner, you chose to be with them. 

If you NEED them, it means you’re not complete, you lack something, so you’re needy about their presence in your life. There’s a hint of desperation there. So it’s about your need, your lack and your desperation. 

If you CHOSE them, that’s because they are a good fit for you. It’s no longer about your need, but about them being a great partner.

You’re NOT coming from a place of LACK, but from a place of COMPLETENESS, and you chose to ADD some more joy to your life by choosing to have a relationship with them.

The problem with feeling like you NEED this relationship and this person is that you end up giving up your right to be happy in your relationship, just to keep the relationship alive. 

It’s almost funny, how at the beginning, you come into the relationship because you want to be happier. And then once you become attached to your partner, and think you need them, that’s when you sacrifice your happiness, just to not lose her. 

So you come for the happiness, and stay out of neediness, while sacrificing the thing you came for in the first place: your happiness in the relationship. 

If however, you approach the relationship from a place of CHOICE, you don’t forget why you chose this person in the first place – to have a more joyful life.

And if at some point your partner is NOT treating you the way you want to be treated, you have the right to feel disappointed with their behavior and REMIND them that they need to step up their behavior. 

Now you are free to stay or to leave the relationship. And if your partner consistently neglects your needs, then you’re ready to let her go, because you don’t NEED her, you chose to be with her… but only as long as it makes sense, only as long as the relationship makes you happy. 

If she makes you more STRESSED, then it doesn’t make ANY SENSE to remain in this relationship.

Another thing we often FORGET when we begin a relationship is that… it’s JUST A RELATIONSHIP. This is not something meant to last forever, this is not the only person that you can be with, this is not something you must STICK with no matter what. 

Not at all. This is just a relationship, that you chose to be in, as long as it makes you happy, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t make ANY SENSE to stay in this relationship. 

And it’s time to MOVE ON, and eventually find a BETTER relationship. One that will make you happier. 

Free Neediness Guide

I have created a practical guide to share with you 4 steps to reduce neediness and regain your girlfriend's attraction.​

Become Ireplaceable In 3 Steps

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My job as a teacher of love is to help MEN move from being INSECURE to IRREPLACEABLE.

Today I want to share with you a few ideas on how to do that. 

Step 1 – Recognize your own worth. 

You are unique. I know it sounds like a cliche, but you ARE UNIQUE, and I can’t wait to explain to you why you are unique, and HOW you can bring this to the table in your relationship. 

You are perfect. Again it sounds strange. But you really ARE PERFECT, in all of your imperfection. Humans are by their nature imperfect. So being imperfect, means being PERFECTLY HUMAN. 

You are loveable. Yes you deserve to loved EXACTLY as you are. In fact trying to make yourself MORE lovable will only make you seem more desperate. The key to your happy love life, is to finally EMBRACE yourself as you are. And to realize that you deserve to loved for who you are!

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I Got Engaged! The Story and Photos

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This summer has been kind of crazy for me!

And that’s because I finally found the courage to make the BIGGEST decision of my life…

To ask my girlfriend, the woman who’s been kindly loving me all these 7 years, to marry me! 

I really did it!

I planned the whole thing, and really surprised her one day with a beautiful dinner close to a water fountain.. and in front of a gigantic castle, along with some of our dearest friends and family…

…and even in front of HER MOM!

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The 4 Levels of Trust In a Relationship


After years of long distance relationship experience and research on this topic I’ve come to realize that the level of trust in a long distance relationship VARIES from couple to couple. Some couples trust each other more, others not so much.

The interesting observation here is that the level of trust that exists between partners determines how happy and how successful their long distance relationship will be.

But what’s even more important to point out here is that VERY FEW couples get to a point of Healthy Trust, where they trust each other proactively instead of just trusting BLINDLY.

Below I have identified the 4 possible levels of trust in a long distance relationship.

And what I want you to do is to read them carefully and ask yourself at which level of trust is your relationship situated at right now?

This will help you understand why are you so stressed and jealous and what you can do to overcome all this suffering.

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How To Not Worry When She Goes Out Partying?


Not long ago, I had a very interesting coaching call with a young man from Germany, who felt stressed and worried every time his girlfriend went out to parties.

Now, that’s such a familiar feeling for me as well, and such a common theme in many of the coaching calls I have with guys. We feel uneasy every time our girlfriend goes out because we’re worried that some guys may hit on her, or she may get too drunk, or her friends might influence her to do something stupid… or we’re just worried about her safety going out with just a few girlfriends alone.

And the reason I’m telling you this right now is because if this situation sounds familiar, I want to share with you as well some of the things we talked about during our call.

The tips I gave to this young man, might come very handy to you if you’re struggling with the same issue. So sit comfortably and enjoy the article.

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The Only Way To Overcome Jealousy!


Here’s the reality:  excessive jealousy is poison for a relationship. It can really turn to ashes an otherwise perfect relationship.

I’ve seen hundreds of women say:

“I love him so much, he’s the man of my dreams and I’d never cheat on him, but he’s just so jealous, I simply can’t take it anymore!” 

However the funny and also confusing thing about jealousy is that the guy, for example, tends to accuse his girlfriend of making him jealous, while his girlfriend tends to accuse him of being too crazy and insecure about himself.

So the question is – Whose fault it is?

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5 Great Ideas For An Awesome Skype Date

Skype date

 

How have your Skype sessions been lately? Does it feel like you’re always doing or talking about the same things with your partner?

It’s a common issue for many couples in long distance relationships because we can feel limited in what we can do together due to being apart.

But let’s be honest, why should people in conventional relationships have all the fun when it comes to date nights?!

For my partner and I, a pattern started to form when we’d be on Skype. Don’t get me wrong we were still excited to see each other but something was lacking. That’s when I decided to change it up a bit and create a date night that would push us to try new things. When I’d see her smile from ear to ear I knew I was on to a winner 🙂

If you’re wanting to try something different I’ve put together a foolproof date night that you can surprise your partner with that’s guaranteed to be something they’ll never forget!

The trick is to make it ALL. ABOUT. YOUR. PARTNER. Everyone loves to be pampered and feel loved and what I’ve put together for you will do exactly that for your partner, so let’s get stuck in.

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I Am The Love of My Life, Not My Partner

Love yourself

Now that Valentines Day has passed, and you have celebrated the love for each other, it’s time to celebrate your love for the most important person in your life. The love for yourself.

Think about it for a second. Who is the person that’s always around, and will always be there for you no matter what? It’s you.

Most of us think that there is one person out there that is the love of our lives.

And yes, there are people who are such an amazing fit for us, that it feels like they are the one.

When the reality is that your “the one” could be many people. You probably felt like your previous partner was the one, and then you broke up and now you found a even better partner, which you think again that this is the one. When the truth is that “the one” is not just one single person, the one is just someone who’s a good fit for you. And there could be many such people.

But if you want to find the true love of your life, your true THE ONE, then all you have to do is to find a mirror and look in it. Because YOU ARE the love of your life.

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10 Conversation Games To Make Your Talks More Fun


Right now I wanna share with you my list of 10 awesome games to play in your conversations.

Like we talked in my What Else Do I Say? book, talking on Skype or over the phone is not so much about the content of the conversation, as it’s about the connection that you guys build with each other.

Most people tend to put too much attention on the content of the conversation, when actually it’s the connection that matters the most. Your daily talks are meant to allow you to spend some quality time together, so it’s not that important what you talk about, as long as you guys talk.

And a conversation game like this will allow you to connect and have fun in the process, even if the content of the talk is not that clever.

The most important thing here is to have a playful mindset.

Seriousity is a love repellent. You don’t have to be all serious all the time.

At times being playful and even childish, no matter what you age is, can be the best thing you can do for your relationship.

Therefore, here’s the list:

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