Relationships Are Based On Choice, Not Neediness

What most people forget is that a healthy relationship is based on CHOICE not NEED.

You don’t need to be with your partner, you chose to be with them. 

If you NEED them, it means you’re not complete, you lack something, so you’re needy about their presence in your life. There’s a hint of desperation there. So it’s about your need, your lack and your desperation. 

If you CHOSE them, that’s because they are a good fit for you. It’s no longer about your need, but about them being a great partner.

You’re NOT coming from a place of LACK, but from a place of COMPLETENESS, and you chose to ADD some more joy to your life by choosing to have a relationship with them.

The problem with feeling like you NEED this relationship and this person is that you end up giving up your right to be happy in your relationship, just to keep the relationship alive. 

It’s almost funny, how at the beginning, you come into the relationship because you want to be happier. And then once you become attached to your partner, and think you need them, that’s when you sacrifice your happiness, just to not lose her. 

So you come for the happiness, and stay out of neediness, while sacrificing the thing you came for in the first place: your happiness in the relationship. 

If however, you approach the relationship from a place of CHOICE, you don’t forget why you chose this person in the first place – to have a more joyful life.

And if at some point your partner is NOT treating you the way you want to be treated, you have the right to feel disappointed with their behavior and REMIND them that they need to step up their behavior. 

Now you are free to stay or to leave the relationship. And if your partner consistently neglects your needs, then you’re ready to let her go, because you don’t NEED her, you chose to be with her… but only as long as it makes sense, only as long as the relationship makes you happy. 

If she makes you more STRESSED, then it doesn’t make ANY SENSE to remain in this relationship.

Another thing we often FORGET when we begin a relationship is that… it’s JUST A RELATIONSHIP. This is not something meant to last forever, this is not the only person that you can be with, this is not something you must STICK with no matter what. 

Not at all. This is just a relationship, that you chose to be in, as long as it makes you happy, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t make ANY SENSE to stay in this relationship. 

And it’s time to MOVE ON, and eventually find a BETTER relationship. One that will make you happier. 

Free Neediness Guide

I have created a practical guide to share with you 4 steps to reduce neediness and regain your girlfriend's attraction.​

Become Ireplaceable In 3 Steps

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My job as a teacher of love is to help MEN move from being INSECURE to IRREPLACEABLE.

Today I want to share with you a few ideas on how to do that. 

Step 1 – Recognize your own worth. 

You are unique. I know it sounds like a cliche, but you ARE UNIQUE, and I can’t wait to explain to you why you are unique, and HOW you can bring this to the table in your relationship. 

You are perfect. Again it sounds strange. But you really ARE PERFECT, in all of your imperfection. Humans are by their nature imperfect. So being imperfect, means being PERFECTLY HUMAN. 

You are loveable. Yes you deserve to loved EXACTLY as you are. In fact trying to make yourself MORE lovable will only make you seem more desperate. The key to your happy love life, is to finally EMBRACE yourself as you are. And to realize that you deserve to loved for who you are!

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How To Not Worry When She Goes Out Partying?


Not long ago, I had a very interesting coaching call with a young man from Germany, who felt stressed and worried every time his girlfriend went out to parties.

Now, that’s such a familiar feeling for me as well, and such a common theme in many of the coaching calls I have with guys. We feel uneasy every time our girlfriend goes out because we’re worried that some guys may hit on her, or she may get too drunk, or her friends might influence her to do something stupid… or we’re just worried about her safety going out with just a few girlfriends alone.

And the reason I’m telling you this right now is because if this situation sounds familiar, I want to share with you as well some of the things we talked about during our call.

The tips I gave to this young man, might come very handy to you if you’re struggling with the same issue. So sit comfortably and enjoy the article.

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10 Conversation Games To Make Your Talks More Fun


Right now I wanna share with you my list of 10 awesome games to play in your conversations.

Like we talked in my What Else Do I Say? book, talking on Skype or over the phone is not so much about the content of the conversation, as it’s about the connection that you guys build with each other.

Most people tend to put too much attention on the content of the conversation, when actually it’s the connection that matters the most. Your daily talks are meant to allow you to spend some quality time together, so it’s not that important what you talk about, as long as you guys talk.

And a conversation game like this will allow you to connect and have fun in the process, even if the content of the talk is not that clever.

The most important thing here is to have a playful mindset.

Seriousity is a love repellent. You don’t have to be all serious all the time.

At times being playful and even childish, no matter what you age is, can be the best thing you can do for your relationship.

Therefore, here’s the list:

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