How To Keep Attraction On Fire

keep attraction long distance

If you’ve read the Elixir Of Love article, then you should know that my philosophy about love is very simple and unique. But if you haven’t read it, then go read that one first.

In this article I am going to show you how to build ATTRACTION in your relationship. And as you’ve seen in the Elixir Of Love article, attraction is the one out of three elements of love, and the one that brings life to a relationship.

Let me explain.

What Is Attraction?

Attraction is all about keep your girlfriend on her toes, stimulating her to invest in the relationship and doing that by being playful and being challenging.

Right now, I’m about to share with you my favorite technique to build and maintain attraction in a relationship. It’s a technique that mixes both playfulness and challenge and results in getting your girl crazy about you.

How To Build Attraction?

Based on my experience and the knowledge that I’ve gathered in the last few years of educating myself in the field of seduction, dating and relationships, there are 7 major ways to build and maintain attraction.

In this article I am going to share with you 1 of the 7 attraction tools. And actually one of my favorite ones.  So, pay good attention and read it carefully.

So, let’s dive in…

My Favorite Technique – Teasing

Teasing is one of the most powerful attraction tools. Period!

When I talk about teasing, I mean “making fun of your girl in a playful way”. It’s not making fun of her in order to upset her, it’s just pushing her buttons a bit in a playful and loving way. And I’ll teach you how in just a second.

Now, let me explain a bit why teasing works so great, and then we’ll move on to examples.

If you carefully look around at guys who are successful with women, you’ll surely notice that they constantly tease them in a playful way. So this is what the biggest seducers that I know do, and here is why it works:

1)    Women want men that are fun and confident. These are the top 2 traits that women want in a man. Now, when teasing a woman, you simultaneously display both of these attractive traits.

If you are able to bring humor in her life, be it by telling funny stories, making funny comments about people or especially about her, and if you are doing that with confidence then she will see you as a challenge - a prize she wants to win over, even if you are already in a relationship with her, it will stimulate her to keep seducing you.

2)    Another good reason why teasing a woman works, is that teasing adds tension and unpredictability in conversations. It’s not the old boring plane conversation that starts with “How are you?” and ends with “So, that’s how my boring day was today.

Teasing a woman during the conversation will get her laughing, will get her nervous a little, might even upset her a little bit, and then get her laughing again. It will bring life to normal conversation.

It’s like adding salt to a dish. You can eat the dish without salt, but it doesn’t have that great taste that it normally should, but if you add some salt to it - then it makes it so much more delicious; BUT add too much salt and the dish is ruined.

So guys that know how to keep women attracted, prefer the food to be a bit salted. In other words, they are teasing their girlfriend in a fun and playful way, and that’s what you want to be doing too.

And there’s one more reason, an important one, why teasing works:


Okay, enough about the Why! Let’s talk now about the How!

So how do you effectively tease your girlfriend? There’s around 10 techniques (that I know) which you can use to tease a girl, but to keep the length of this article bearable for you, I'll talk about two teasing techniques in this article.

1 | Saying the opposite of what you actually mean.

Let’s say, his name is Jack and her name is Sally, they are in a long distance relationship and they love each other. Jack is a man that knows how to keep his girl attracted.

Jack likes to make a little fun of his girlfriend by giving her compliments in a very unique way. Instead of telling her that she’s “stunning and beautiful”, he’ll say that she’s “really unattractive today”, and that - with a big smile on his face, and saying it as if it was a compliment.

He knows that his girl will understand that, what he means is that she looks great, but saying the opposite…is adding that salt to the food, is flirting.

Note that you don’t want to get your girl mad. You gotta express it so that she gets that you’re kidding with her. So when you tease her this way, your face expressions must be as if you are excited at how amazing she looks, but then you say just the opposite, and this contradiction is what makes it actually fun and unpredictable.

A few more examples:

  • Ohhh, yeah baby…I wish I could just bend you over right now, and …give you a massage”  (when you really mean that you’d love to bend her over and f*** her, like you just got out of prison).
  • Let’s say she prepared a dish when you were together, and you really liked it, but then when you later on talk on Skype and remember about it, you say: “That dish you cooked was pure poison! I am still wondering how I survived.
  • Listen, you’re the worst reader I know, you remind me of my nephew, he’s 7 years old, and he still reads better than you.” (Here you basically exaggerate a bit the way she reads, but of course you’re not serious about it.)
  • When she sends you some new photos of hers, you look at them, you chose the best one and say: “Ohhh, boy…who on earth took this picture? It’s like the worst picture ever!” (And then you chose the really worst one) and say: “Look at this one though; here you look like a real super model!

Now, a few things to remember about using this teasing technique:

a)    You want to be saying it in a way that she gets it that you’re kidding around. Try not to offend her and then say that you’re kidding. But if she really gets offended, just tell her the real meaning and tell her that of course you were kidding and “she’s the most beautiful girl on earth, after Madonna, Pamela and your girl next door.”

b)    Do not over use it, because it will easily get her mad. You can use this once or twice in a 1-2 hours conversation, but not necessarily in every conversation.

c)     The key here is to play around a bit, tease her a little now, then give her a compliment and then tease her again and then give her another compliment. This way you push her and you pull her back, and believe me when I say it – it just drives girls crazy (in a good way)!

2 | Double-sided compliments

This one is similar to the one before, but is less risky, and a bit more fun.

So, telling a double-sided compliment means giving her a compliment that starts with something positive and ends with something “negative” or something that contradicts what you meant before. Just like these:

  • “Look at this shoes you have, they are so beautiful, especially when it’s dark and no one can see them.”
  • “Mmm, I love your new shirt! It perfectly hides your belly.”
  • “Look at you, you’ve got a new hairstyle…it reminds me of a samurai, only the sword it’s missing!”
  • “You my love, are the sexiest girl I know! …well, after Pamela Anderson”
  •  “I loved talking to you…not today of course, but still, it was good.”
  • “You know what; you’re a very smart girl….sometimes.”
  • “That’s a lovely dress, too bad you couldn’t find it on your size.”
  • “This dress that you have…looks gorgeous, especially when I take it off you and throw it on the floor.”

So this is basically giving her a compliment and taking it away. It’s very effective, and drives her a bit crazy, but in a positive way. This is a classic teasing technique and you can use it more often than the others, because it’s more fun it’s not as risky as the other technique presented before.

It works great because it’s unpredictable and also fun for her. Normally her reaction when you’d tease her this way would be to laugh at it and/or call you a “bastard” (or something similar) in a playful way.

If her reaction in not similar to what I’ve just described, then maybe you’re not doing it right. Remember tease her with a smile on your face, she needs to know that you’re fooling around, and not being serious about the “negative” part.

So, this is basically it. Now you have something specific that you can use to build attraction in your relationship. But remember, attraction is just 1 of the 3 elements of love, not the only one. If you only try to build attraction that will push your girlfriend away. The key here is to be a loving and caring man who builds a lot of AFFECTION, and then and only then balances that affection with what I taught you in this article, thus with attraction.

REMEMBER: tease her with a smile on your face, she needs to know that you’re just fooling around and not being serious about the “negative” part.

Read my article about the Complete Formula of Love to understand how you must develop the right ATTITUDE, then express your AFFECTION 80% of the time, to make your girlfriend feel love and appreciated, and only then balance that affection with 20% ATTRACTION.

With Love and Respect,

Besski Livius

About Livius Besski

After knowing nothing about love and getting his heart broken over and over again, Livius has decided to figure this topic out. And for the past 10 years he has discovered the counter-intuitive way love works, has created a system for overcoming neediness (which is holding most guys back) and is now sharing all of his practical advice here on the site.


  1. David says:

    This person has obviously never been in a successful relationship….seriously at the “Omg, sweetie you’re soooo….ugly today, when you go out, even the sun is hiding!” part?!?! Do you know what that can do to a woman’s self esteem when the man she loves calls her ugly? Terrible advice!

    • :)) Glad you brought that up David. And here’s the thing: if you say it in a playful and joking way she’ll get that you’re just teasing her. It’s not about the words that you say, but about the intention that you have. And in this case you’re just playing around, and not being serious about it. There is a reason why this technique is called “Saying the opposite of what you actually mean.”
      And of course, you would tell this to your girlfriend when she looks stunning, and that with a smile on your face, and not in the morning when she just woke up and she really looks “ugly”.

  2. Anthony says:

    thank you for your opinion and experience thats why we read these articles anyways to at least take ones success and in turn make it our own.I appreciate your time and effort and I honestly feel I have gained perspective from this good read!


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