I don’t think that missing our partner a lot in a long distance relationship is something we should try to avoid or repress, or see it as a source of suffering.
We suffer only when we try to resist the really of being in a long distance relationship, and we think that it SHOUDN’T be this way, and it’s unfair, and it’s a curse for you… and you hate it so much.
This is the best recipe for suffering in a long distance relationship, and my experience tells me that it’s also the recipe for failing a long distance relationship.
Even though it’s very hard for us to be separated by the love of our lives, it’s not the end of the world, and we should be HAPPY for having a love of our lives in our lives.
So, missing our partners is a feeling or better said – an energy that must NOT be hated or repressed, but one that must be enjoyed, savored and, why not, put to good use.
Let’s see how we can do that …
1. Get high on love!
In those moments when we miss our partner like crazy, we feel a certain energy in our body, an energy that we wish we’d use to hug, kiss and make love to them… but because they’re not around – we find no use for it, so we tend to label it as bad and try to repress it.
But here’s the thing – that feeling that you have, that energy in your body is neither good nor bad, it’s just a powerful energy. We get to label it as good or bad. And we get to suffer from it or get high on it.
Next time you feel overwhelmed with missing them, see it as a positive energy – lay down on your bed, close your eyes and FEEL that energy passing through your body, let it flow and enjoy the pleasure. Free your mind of any thoughts, just try to be aware of your body, and of the energy that goes through it. Then think of your partner and be grateful for having her in your life!
And this is how you get high on love, my friend.
2. Write them a love letter/poem.
Use that powerful energy as your muse and put your feelings on paper. This way you’ll kill two birds at once:
- you’ll open your heart and find some relief,
- and you’ll create something that your girlfriend will immensely appreciate.
Poets did this for centuries. They used their love, and often their impossible love for someone as their muse because that’s when words come out from the heart, not just from the mind.
And words that come from the heart, touch other’s hearts.
So try this at least once, and you’ll see how good it feels to let that energy flow on paper, without any judgment or logic. Then wrap that piece of art in an envelope and send it to your partner.
A letter is worth 1000 text messages! Remember that.
3. Create something for her.
In my experience the best time to create something for your partner is when you miss her like crazy.
As I mentioned before, if I want to write something – words just flow from my heart. If I want to draw something, ideas come out of nowhere. If I want to film a video and tell her something… it all works out so nice and perfect. If I want to make a photo collage – I tend to chose the best pictures.
When missing her and wanting to create something – it’s almost like I have a new creative superpower, and it all feels so easy and effortless.
Your missing for her is your creative superpower!
Just like when I write these articles for you. If I write about missing your girlfriend, I remind myself of what it felt to miss mine. If I write about jealousy or fights I almost put myself in that state where I am jealous or angry at something, and that’s when I find my best inspiration.
In the past I often tried to put myself in the state of missing my girlfriend when I wanted to create something for her and I was too logical about it. And that’s when ideas would come just like that [finger snap], and they would be so much more authentic and sincere than the ones I’d come up with when using my brain to think, instead of my heart.
4. Release your sexual energy.
Okay, I admit that I was a bit unsure, whether to post this suggestion or not. And for good reason. Some of you may feel uncomfortable reading this, while some of you may say “Right on, dude! This really helps!”
In the end, as you can see, I added it because I really does help. I don’t want to hide behind my finger when writing these articles. I want to be straight and human with you. And because we’re human, sex is a part of our lives – we’re sexual beings after all.
Now, when being separated by our partners for a long time, and sexually deprived, that feeling of overwhelming missing is often nothing else but an excess of sexual energy – which needs to be released in one form or another.
5. Brainstorm ways to meet her sooner!
Another suggestion is to brainstorm ways to meet her sooner than later. You’ll be surprised how a little brainstorming of ideas to meet her sooner may lead you to a great opportunity to visit – that you would’ve never thought of otherwise.
Some more common sense ideas:
6. Get in touch with them.
But don’t make a habit out of it, because you might seem too needy. If you constantly miss her and therefore send her a dozen texts each day, you call her too often and expect her to endlessly talk to you on Skype – you’ll end up suffocating her. She’ll take you for granted and she’ll lose attraction for you.
7. Get yourself busy.
The trick is to get your mind focused on something else than the of missing your partner. As long as you immerse yourself into an important project, go to the gym, read a good book, watch a movie or simply find something to focus on – you’ll be able to bear the distance and time spent apart much easier.
8. Photos, photos, photos!
If you can’t see her in person, you can at least see her pictures, or some pictures of you together. I just asked my girlfriend what she used to do when we were afar from each other, and she told me that she often used to browse through our pictures together. And she said that she felt much better after doing that.
9. Allow yourself to be melancholic.
This suggestion goes well with the previous one, and means that you can give yourself permission to be melancholic, to think of past moments together, to even cry if you feel like or maybe smile… this way letting that excess of energy be expressed and released.
Although hard to admit it – I cried one or two times too when I missed my girlfriend too much. And boy, good I felt afterwards! [hell yeah!]
10. Hang out with friends.
I’ve always found it helpful to talk to a friend, and sometimes even sharing with them my intense feelings of missing my partner. I found this to be a great way to release my tension and usually focus my mind on something else.
The Key Takeaway
What you want to keep in mind is that your missing of her is an energy, a tension that needs to be embraced and released somehow, not hated or repressed.
So DON’T HATE the missing and use the suggestions above to RELEASE this powerful energy that your love for her creates.