From Struggling With Love To Helping Others

I was the typical good guy, who was nice and caring with women. I knew that to make women happy, you have to be a gentleman. Take care of them, buy them flowers, write them poems and everything will be fine… or so I thought.

Until… my high school crush left me and started dating one of my cousins. Ouch! That hurt. So I swore that I am going to figure out the whole women and attraction thing somehow. Which eventually got me obsessed with pick-up, seduction and that whole “madness”.

And what can I say… after a few months of obsessive study and going out I started getting results. Bringing 3-4 girls to my apartment every week… to a point where my neighbors seeing me pass by with all of these women, were wondering if I was some kind of pimp or doing something illegal.

So in it’s own shady and manipulative way, the whole seduction thing actually worked… until this one girl came along in my life, and the little poor me has fallen INLOVE.

This was my perfect chance to have a meaningful relationship, with a woman I really admired. SO I used everything little trick and strategy I have leaned so far… and it all lasted for a grand total of 4 weeks…. Until she decided to leave me.

Somehow she figured out that I wasn’t the man I was trying to pretend I was. And she felt it.

So she left.

My heart was broken… again. And this time it hurt even more.

I thought I had this whole area under my control. I had women before chasing me and forcing me make love to them…

Yet this woman that I actually deeply cared for LEFT me.

I was destroyed.

Luckily, looking back that was the best thing that happened to me. To this day I thank her (now my wife) for leaving me at the time.

That pain stirred up something inside of me, and made me question my understanding of relationships…

I remember that I was sitting on the beach one night. My friends were all partying at this beach club, and I was watching the sea and crying inside, wondering WHY, why did I lose her? She was the best thing that happened to me. And now she’s gone. I knew what I had to do to get women attracted to me… yet it didn’t work with her. And I couldn’t figure out WHY.

I thought I had all the answers… And it was then when it hit me “it’s not about what you do… it’s about who you are” it’s about the character and mindset that you have… and I realized that I certainly did not have a mature mindset.

I was still needy inside, even though I knew how to cover that up.

So the next step was clear to me in that moment – I had to figure out how to get the perfect mindset for love. I had to overcome all of my neediness, and become a secure man.

Which of course, became my new obsession. I was in university at the time, but instead of studying for my classes, I was reading book after book, and studying course after course on inner confidence, self-esteem, lasting relationships, mindset, practical psychology, then Tony Robbins and the like, I was committed to figuring out how to be a secure man in my relationships… and while I learned a lot.

I didn’t feel like I was actually changing… which frustrated me. It got me even more anxious that before. For months I was doing this work, and I was a little better off, but I wasn’t really “getting it” yet.

So I gave up.

I though “this is to hard, too confusing… blamed it on women too, that THEY don’t know what they want, and so on..”

And I really settled for being where I was. No big hope for the success of my future relationships… but what could I do?

Yet something unexpected happened. As I left it all alone for a while, allowing my growth till then to settle in… the last piece of the puzzle came to me. And it was exactly what was missing for me to finally “get it”.

One day I opened my email and I read this quote that I was receiving daily. It was by Mahatma Gandhi, didn’t know the “dude” much until them other than his famous quote of “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
And this time there was a different quote by him… it said “Only the person who is utterly detached and totally dedicated can fully enjoy life.”

I read that, and it was the apparent opposition of being DETACHED yet DEDICATED that struck me. And then I thought about relationships… and realized that wow… that’s it! That’s the perfect mindset for love – being detached (ready to lose her) yet dedicated to make my woman happy. THAT would create the perfect balance.

And I was right.

Since that realization… a few weeks later I got the woman I loved back. And have been together ever since. Now recently married too… after 9 years being together.

Later on I realized that being detached actually was not only part of a mature mindset for relationships, but also the main source of passion and attraction in relationships. I found that detachment would create a sense of UNCERTAINTY in the relationship, which would keep my woman super attracted to me… without any of the previous attraction strategies I used to learn in seduction… I could just be me, with my secure mindset, and actually be loved for who I was. That’s all it really takes, yet one of the hardest things in the world. Especially because we live in a society where being needy is the default relationship mindset. People don’t even know they have it, yet fail at love over and over again.

Once I realized how relationships worked, I had the courage to start teaching this. I started this blog on long distance relationship, because I was in one at the time, which got popular to a few million views a year. Wrote a few books, and so I started coaching people privately.

Interestingly enough, helping men with relationships I would see that every problem they would come to me for advice with, had the same ROOT problem – their neediness. They felt like they needed their partner, so they were looking for help. So after a while I stopped giving advice, and started helping men change their needy mindset. And magic started happening. Guys would save their marriage on the brink of divorce, they would get over breakups in days instead of months, and they would end relationship that weren’t making them happy, they would start speaking up and asking for what they want in their relationship… because they’d finally learn how to approach their relationships as a secure self-respecting man.

Without much expectation, this slowly become my main occupation. And for the past 5 years I have been a love coach, helping men (and some women that really insisted) fix their love life, change their needy mindset into a secure one, revive passion in their marriages, and also helping single men get more dates, overcome anxiety with women and find their perfect partner.

It’s a fun job, because I get to see real transformations every single week, which is very empowering.

Why I started this blog?

Because I have been in a few long distance relationships already, and noticed that there is not really any practical advice online for people in long distance relationships. When I searched for advice on LDRs, I kept finding the same general advice… to trust, love and communicate. But nothing really specific.

When I was dating my now wife long distance I wanted real life, practical tips of how to prevent cheating, how to keep my girlfriend attracted even from afar, how to deal with fights and arguments in a long distance relationship, how to keep things fun and exciting, what to talk about on those 2-3 hour daily Skype talks… but I found no such advice.

So I decided to start a blog and share some of the ideas about love that I realized by that time.

And to my surprise it took off like wildfire. Within one year, the site great to a few hundred thousand views, and now 5 years later it’s been visited by over 7 million long distance lovers, from over 52 countries.

Some of my work that might help you.

Since then I wrote a few books to answer some of the most popular questions people were asking me about long distance relationships.

Every time I would say that I have a long distance relationship to my now 9 year girlfriend (recently wife), they would laugh and say that she’s probably cheating on me. And I knew she wasn’t, because I learned over the years how to inspire my woman to be faithful to me.

Screen Shot 2016-01-28 at 4.52.39 PM

Yep, that’s me and her, 9 years together so far.

So I didn’t worry much about that. And I wrote a book exactly about faithfulness to help men relax and stop worrying about their girlfriend cheating on them while they are apart.

Then people kept writing me about how their girlfriend seems less interested lately, seems to be more cold, doesn’t reply their texts like she used to, and is not so eager to talk to them, so I wrote a book on attraction to help guys keep that desire alive, and get their relationship back on track.

Later on I noticed how I started getting more and more questions about what to talk on Skype, and how to make those 2-3 hour long conversations more interesting, so naturally I wrote a book about conversations where I shared about 50 ways to spice up our Skype conversations.

You may have also seen my book on Amazon, that I created by choosing some of my best articles that I have written about long distance relationships over the past 5 years, and created The Long Distance Lover Book.

I love my job, because I know that it makes a difference in people’s lives. I hope it helps you too.

Feel free to study my work, and if you need more personal advice, don’t hesitate to apply for a consultation with me. And if you’re accepted, I’ll help you overcome the problem you’re facing in your relationship.

Feel free to also download my free book about the 3 mistakes that most men make and end up pushing their woman away.

This being said. Enjoy the site, and I look forward to making a difference in your long distance relationship.