There’s a very important topic I want to talk to you about today. A topic that will literally DECIDE the fate of your relationship!
But first let me ask you this: Did you ever feel like you need your girlfriend more than she needs you? Have you ever felt so in love and so dependent on your girlfriend that you wanted to talk to her for hours, you wanted to be with her ALL the time. You just couldn’t get enough of her attention and affection?
Her presence in your life was so important that you felt worried and stressed any time she would show a little disinterest? Or any time she’d be too busy for you, and not answer your texts, or initiate calls, or talk to you on Skype for long enough?
Because if you did feel this way, then I want to introduce Michael to you.
Meet our hero Mike
Not so long ago Mike was is the same situation that you are right now, experiencing the same emotions.
He cared so much about his girlfriend that any time she’d show a little sign of disinterest, he felt this overwhelming fear and worries which turned his life into hell, all day every day. And sometimes he’d even feel this tension for no reason at all.
He couldn’t focus on anything else during the day… it was hard for him to study, he was distracted at work, he was all the time feeling this tension…and it was getting all worse when his girlfriend was not calling him when she promised, or she wasn’t texting him back…or even worse when she acted in ways that he didn’t like, over and over again.
He wanted to free himself of that stress, but he couldn’t. He just loved her too much, and he was terrified by the idea of losing her. They’ve been through so much together and he felt like he’d never find such an amazing girl again.
Things got worse, he got her crying
But things got a lot worse when one day he called his girlfriend more than 10 times, and also texted her just as many times, because she wasn’t answering his calls… and as minutes passed he felt like they were hours, he was checking his phone every 5 minutes and getting more and more impatient by every second.
Late in the evening when his girlfriend called him, she was nearly crying. He found out that she had a really busy day, and she forgot her phone at home… but when she got back home and saw the dozen missed calls and weird text messages on her phone, she got really disappointed at him, she felt very bad for how weak and insecure he had behaved, and even told him that they should probably break up, which brought her to tears of pain and disappointment.
This is when Mike realized that he had a problem, a serious problem which was turning his love life into hell. Not only that he was suffering, but he was also letting his girlfriend down, which hurt him even more.
And that’s when he started looking for advice online. Long story short, he found our community, read some of the articles on the blog, read my 3 deadly mistakes e-book, and was blown away by how he was making all those 5 mistakes that I talk about in that short ebook.
Next thing I know, he wrote me an email and asked to talk to me personally.
I was very busy that week, but found an hour and we talked on Skype. He told me the story that I just told you, and for the next 45 minutes we worked on his neediness issue together.
What happened next blew my mind!
I don’t want to get too excited here, but what happened next blew my mind away.
He went back to his relationship a new man. As he told me 2 weeks later in an email, that call opened his eyes for real, and the way he acted from there on has gotten his girlfriend back to him, even more attracted and in love with him than she was before. Two months later I wrote him to see how things were going and he said that they were planning to close the distance soon. And now just a few days ago he wrote me a short email thanking me and telling me that they finally closed the distance and are looking at getting married soon.
It gave me chills reading his email. I felt so stoked for him!
You see, most people think that when you’re in love with someone, the right thing to do is to overwhelm them with attention and affection. And they don’t even want to think about the possibility of losing their girlfriends, they’re terrified by this idea and so they become needy.
But really, this is a HUGE mistake most dudes make. Because although their intention is good, too much attention starts to become needy, and needy is creepy, which repels their girlfriend away from them.
Needy is Creepy!
Neediness is the killer of most relationships, long distance or not.
And if I were to define what neediness means in just a few words it would be: “needing your partner more than she needs you” as simple as that. And when that happens, attraction goes out the window, relationships become boring, and slowly but surely head to a painful break up.
So, instead of being needy, what we really need to learn is 1) how to stop being afraid of losing our partner, because she is NOT our main source of happiness in life; and 2) how to find joy (love and happiness) inside of ourselves and our own lives.
When you’re able to detach this way, and then still be dedicated to keep your girlfriend happy; and not just keeping her happy no matter what she does, but having boundaries that she needs to respect, and standards that she needs to meet – that’s, my friend, the moment when you’ll turn your neediness around into YOU becoming the PICKY one, instead of the needy one. And that’s when she’ll be chasing after you like a little girl after her tasty chocolate.
The truth is that 97% of men and women are VERY NEEDY in their relationships. And the reason is that we humans need love and security to be happy in our lives. And when we’re young we get our love and security from our parents. But then, when we grow up and leave our parents behind, we start seeking love and security in our romantic relationships, so we become needy and dependent. And here lies the problem – when we were kids we were powerless so we needed our parents, but now we’ve grown and we got’ve the power and the capacity to create our own security and self-love, but we still behave like powerless kids.
And it’s not your fault, it’s the society that fails to teach us how to become self-confident.
If you’ve read my ‘3 deadly mistakes‘ ebook, then you already know how much of a needy guy I used to be as well. But when I finally learned my lesson and overcame this “instinct”, my love (and sex life) has RADICALLY turned around. Thus I know it from my own experience and from the countless success stories I’ve received from guys, that overcoming this issue is the holy-grail of a happy love life.
So if you’re just able to change your mindset from being needy (and creepy) to being picky (and attractive) then you’ll not only feel free of worries and frustration in your love life, but your partner will be falling head over heels for you and she’ll love you like you’re the only man on earth for her.