This is a saddening article for me to write and for you to read, but a NECESSARY ONE!
Long distance dating can be wonderful, but it can also be dangerous. It’s wonderful when you find a special girl and you both develop some special feelings for each other, and it’s a SCAM when that girl only pretends to be a sweet and loving girlfriend, and secretly has an egoistic agenda with you.
I am writing this article to be a wake up call for you my friend in case you’re in a relationship with a scammer, or so that you keep your eyes open to never get into one.
What I’ve realized, in my experience and research, is that a Relationship Scam is not necessarily one where a girl just wants your money.
The reality is that a scam can be dating or having a serious relationship with a girl who has a certain agenda with you, meaning that she’s dating you to get something out of you: it could be your money, it could be emotional satisfaction, it could be sexual pleasure, or even certain rights or a certain status, like “being the girlfriend of a star” or getting the citizenship of you country (especially if you’re American) or anything else, without actually being sincerely in love with you.
So for the purpose of this article let’s divide the various long distance relationship scams into 4 categories:
- Financial Scams,
- Emotional Scams,
- Sexual Scams and
- Legal (Documentation) Scams
In this article we’ll talk about financial scams.
1. Financial Scams
Financial scams are the most popular and emotionally damaging ones. This is the case of a girl dating you long distance for a while until she builds some trust with you and then running her money extortion master plan on you:
Her are some of the most common examples:
- The Sob Story. After a few weeks or even months of long distance dating, something tragic happening in your girlfriend’s life which requires you to send her money. Some popular scenarios could be: a medical emergency like an urgent surgery she can’t afford, her mother or some family member who she’s responsible for, getting very ill and needing money for medical treatment, a tragic car accident and so on.
- The Holiday Gig. Using holidays and special “relationship anniversaries” to smoothly ask for money for a noble cause (like the ones mentioned above) instead of a “gift” that you are supposed to give her anyways with the occasion of such a special event.
- The Poor Lover. Telling you about her burning desire to visit you, and suggesting that you (her loving banker) finance her visa and traveling costs. (and then somehow never arriving to the destination)
- The Rejected Card. The previous scenarios taken to the next level: she’s arrived to the airport on her way to visit you, but suddenly her credit card was rejected and she asks you to urgently borrow her some money to pay the ticket and catch the plain, until her credit card issue is resolved.
- Sexual Blackmailing. If you “played naughty” together on the webcam, or sent her nude pictures or videos of yourself (which most of us do in a long distance relationship) a scammer will threaten to send them to your family, friends or work colleagues if you don’t send them money.
And countless other similar sob stories, tragic events, unexpected urgencies or blackmailing that are only limited by the scammer’s creativity and intelligence. These could be sometimes more or less elaborate and it’s up to you to uncover and avoid them.
The common request being that “you are her last hope” and nobody else can help her with money at that moment. And if you refuse to comply, she will try to make you feel guilty and greedy, put more pressure on you and even blackmail you.
“Scammers can take days, months or even years in grooming you, until they feel they have built your trust enough to ask for money. This is their fulltime profession and can wait as long as it takes. They prey on your kindness.” says online investigator Julia Robson.
How to Protect Yourself
- Money request are HUGE RED FLAGS. Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person and fully trust. If you’re ever tempted to send money – request for documentation and ask about their personal details…and make sure to check them very carefully because they may be easily Photoshop-ed. But my suggestion – NEVER send money, at least not in the first year of dating a girl.And please don’t think that you’re being a man and you’re helping her out, open your eyes and realize that you’re being USED! And NO! She won’t love you more if you provide for her. That’s what she relies up on to fool you, but you can be smarter than that. Remember this: “In life your should never have to buy someone’s love!”
- Quick development of affection toward you and usage of words like “dear”, “darling” too soon is another red flag. Don’t be fooled by such early expressions of affection because chances are that she’s either a financial or emotional scammer, and uses such techniques to get to the money part faster.
- Lack of personal information about her, or suspicious personal information is another clear red flag. Google her name, email address, phone number, snippets of the first emails she sent you, and look for suspicious results online. Also don’t be shy to ask questions about her, if she’s a sincere person, there shouldn’t be any problem answering them.
- Unavailability of a webcam! Even though the pictures can be sexy as hell, or especially when the girl in the pictures looks gorgeous, chances are that you’re talking to a grandma, a dude, or a paid money extortion hottie. So don’t rely only on email, online chatting or phone calls to sustain a long distance relationship – Skype video calls are obligatory!
- A surprising and insatiable curiosity about you. I know that it’s normal to be curious about each other at the beginning of a relationship, what is NOT normal though is a ONE-WAY interview where she shares little or suspicious information about herself and yet wants to know everything about your personal life (address, workplace, full name, phone number, your fears, desires, ambitious) this way looking for two things: logistical information and emotional weaknesses to manipulate you.
- Poor English and Foreign Accents. While not a definite sign alone, when considered together with other red flags, it can be a good sign of a hungry for money scammer. Google translate may be her best friend.
Luckily, as you can see in most online dating scams, there are RED FLAGS everywhere, I just hope that you’re not COLOR BLIND!
However it’s your intuition (yes, we guys have intuition too), or you inner gut as you may call it, that will help you determine whether something does not seem right!
Also, as specialists suggest – keep records of all your online conversations. This could be very useful later on if you have to report the scammer and try to get your money back.
Coming Soon: Part 2 – Emotional Scams
Photo Source: Tax Credits