Long distance relationships and Trust are two inseparable notions; however, it doesn’t mean that TRUST is the only element that long distance dating is based up on. Even though we cannot blindly rely on trust (see here why), we still have to make sure that we nurture the trust we have, and that we keep building trust in our relationship.
In this article I have prepared a few practical suggestions to help you get your girlfriend to trust you more. Because if you are a man with integrity, who she can rely up on and who she can trust no matter what, she will respect you, and see you as a man she will want to keep in her life. No woman wants an insecure, untrustworthy, lying and indecisive little boy, TRUST me on that!
I personally believe that trust can be built up in a relationship, and then it can be sustained too. And here are a few suggestions on how to do that:
1. Keep your word.
It is very important to remember that if you promise her something or you “threaten” her with something, then you have to deliver.
It’s easier to keep a promise than to follow on something that you threatened her with, but they are both as important in sustaining trust. So, for example if you threaten her that you won’t talk to her for a week if she does something, then you have to follow on what you said, or she’ll think that you’re too weak and you can’t keep your word.
If you’re in doubt about your ability to deliver, then simply don’t promise, or promise something else that you know for sure you CAN deliver. If you break your word (be it because you promised her something or you because threatened her with something), you’ll break her trust. Do that a few times and the trust is gone forever.
2. Stand up for yourself.
In a relationship your girlfriend will test your boundaries in a lot of different ways: by interrupting you when you speak, by lying to you sometimes on little things, by manipulating you, by offending you and so on, and if in those cases you don’t stand up for yourself (in a calm and collected manner) then she’ll stop trusting you. How can she trust a man, who is not able to man up and stand up for himself?
3. Protect her.
When you (finally) meet and spend some time together, and someone says or does something to her that may have offended her, make sure to stand up for her. If you do that, she’ll see you as her “hero” and she’ll be able to trust you much more from there on. However even if you are far away from her, a girl needs to feel protected by the man she loves, so make sure to let her know that you’ll never let anything happen to her. Even from distance you can protect her. You can always talk on the phone to the guys who may be annoying her or you can ask other local people to take care of her while you’re gone.
When a woman feels protected by the man she loves, she’ll feel safe and trust him fully.
4. Trust yourself.
Before anybody can trust you, you need to firstly trust yourself. A person who is not sure of himself, what he talks about and the decisions he takes, gives off a vibe of insecurity and weakness.
How can she trust you when you always worry about your choices, you’re weak and have a low self-esteem? If that’s the case, then you have to urgently work on your confidence. Here’s something that could be of help to you. You want to trust your decisions and your choices, or she won’t trust them either.
5. Be a leader.
If you are the kind of guy that is able to take the initiative with her, come up with ideas, have plan B’s, and if nothing else then improvise to get out of any situation, she’ll see you as a guy she can trust. She’ll trust your words AND you decisions.
6. Be honest.
We all tend to lie. A little lie here, a little lie there and so on, thus getting used to avoiding the truth when it’s not convenient for us. Well, if you want people to trust you, I urge you to be honest.
And lastly, help her avoid suspicion and doubts that could easily destroy her trust. Encourage her to work out her suspicions by being direct and sincere with you and always clarifying things out by talking to you instead of letting them boil inside her mind and making her jealous and stressed up.
So, your task for now is to work on building up and sustaining trust in your relationship, as this will pay back a lot in the long run, making your relationship much stronger.
Previous Article On Trust: Should You Just TRUST Her?
Take care, Besski Livius