10 Conversation Games To Make Your Talks More Fun

Right now I wanna share with you my list of 10 awesome games to play in your conversations.

Like we talked in my What Else Do I Say? book, talking on Skype or over the phone is not so much about the content of the conversation, as it’s about the connection that you guys build with each other.

Most people tend to put too much attention on the content of the conversation, when actually it’s the connection that matters the most. Your daily talks are meant to allow you to spend some quality time together, so it’s not that important what you talk about, as long as you guys talk.

And a conversation game like this will allow you to connect and have fun in the process, even if the content of the talk is not that clever.

The most important thing here is to have a playful mindset.

Seriousity is a love repellent. You don’t have to be all serious all the time.

At times being playful and even childish, no matter what you age is, can be the best thing you can do for your relationship.

Therefore, here’s the list:

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How to Not Run Out of Things to Say On Skype

Those 1-2 or even 3-4 hour daily Skype talks or phone conversations can become really predictable after a while.

Or even worse start getting shorter and shorter by every passing week, OR EVEN WORSE start turning into 1-2 hour fights and arguments, instead of fun and enjoyable conversations.

So, how do we stop this vicious cycle?

The truth is that there is no magic pill for it, but with a little effort and creativity we could be still having fun and exciting things to talk about even after 3 years of 2-3 hour daily Skype talks.

So, it’s possible, and I’m about to share with you some of my secrets of how I do it.

1. Relating

This one technique when used correctly can help you have endless conversations not just with your long distance girlfriend, but with virtually anyone.

What relating means is paying careful attention to the conversation and based on the content of the conversation – jumping to other RELATED topics.

For example your partner says: “Oh, I can’t wait for this new movie “X” to come on cinemas. I think I have watched the trailer for like 10 times already. The music is so nice and the actors are just really cool!

So, the common and most boring follow up to her statement might be “Ok, I guess the movie should be nice.

However if you were to RELATE what she said to something else, you could talk about so many related topics like: how cool it is to watch movies at the cinemas; when was the last time you went to the cinema; what movies genres does she like most; showing her some other trailers of some cool movies that you can’t wait to watch; what famous actors are playing in that movie that she told you about; what actors do you both like in general…and so on.

Every word underlined in the text above could make for a new topic you could jump to.

It could be an endless stream of conversation. And every new statement she makes can bring up a lot of other conversational topics.

As I said this technique could help you have endless conversations, and it’s something that we all use naturally when we talk to people, without even realizing it.

However when you do use it consciously, you can actually take control over the length of any conversation you have, simply by finding jump off points in other people’s statements and contributing with your own statements, stories, or questions related to what was said.

2. Dissecting

This is a technique that is very simple to use, and very helpful to keep the ball rolling. What dissecting means is listening to what she has to say, for example what she did today, and then dissecting each activity that she did today and asking clarifying questions about it.

For examples she says: I have read a book today, I have listened to some cool music, did some exercising and ate some delicious salad.

Then you can take each one separately, and start asking questions about it, for example “What book did you read? or Tell me something interesting that you read in that book!” and so on, until you exhaust the topic about reading, and then moving on to music, and then to exercising and then to the salad and so on…dissecting each activity.

Of course you’d want to do it smoothly and naturally, by simply being curious and wanting to know more details.

3. Preparing

During the day many things happen, even if it may not seem like, but when you go through the day with an eye for new things to tell your girlfriend, you’ll start noticing some interesting things, stories, funny stories and so on, that would make for great conversational topics when you girlfriends asks you “What have you done today?”.

I recommend that before calling her on Skype or on the phone, to simply put down on a piece of paper in front of you a few things you want to tell her, or talk about.

This way I promise you, you’ll never worry about what to say next, and sometimes (as it often happens to me) you’ll never even get to talk about those things that you wrote on the paper, because you’ll have so many other spontaneous topics to talk about.

But the actual writing down, and knowing that you do have a few things prepared, gives you a great relief, and helps you focus on being present (instead of thinking about what to say next), listening to what she has to say and then leading the conversations naturally.

4. Encouraging

A relationship in my view is a team game, and our conversations are part of the game too. Therefore keeping the conversation going and making it interesting is the responsibility of both partners.

If you find yourself being the only one trying to come up with new things to talk about, then it means that she’s not playing the game, and your job as a team player is to encourage her to play as well.

When I feel like my girlfriend is not contributing to the conversation, I always tell her “Baby, this conversation is missing a player.”

Sometimes though, she’s not contributing because there is something that’s bothering her, be it something about the relationship or something about her life, and then I encourage her to talk about it.

No matter why she is not contributing, it’s not healthy for the relationship to be the only one talking and investing, and therefore you must encourage her to talk as well.

Sometimes, if I see that she’s not in the mood for talking I might even suggest to end the conversation, because there’s no point in me being the only one talking, and suggesting to continue it when her talking mood gets better, and interestingly enough she instantly becomes more talkative.

5. Digging

Be more profound in your conversations, instead of just talking about the superficial topics.

The way to be more profound is by asking questions like “Why did you do that? Why do you like this? How it makes you feel?”

To give you an example, if she’s telling you about what she ate for breakfast, let’s say she ate musli with water (yes, we talk about that too) then you can ask her “Why musli?” or “Why with water and not with milk?” this way digging deeper than just the surface.

As a result you might end up talking about eating healthy, and you might discover new things about her.

6. Creating

This is an amazing skill that needs to be developed over time.

What you have to do is to come up with interesting hypothetical questions based on the conversation that is currently happening.

For example you’re talking about her walking the dog, and you could come up with a hypothetical question like:

Can you imagine what would it be to have the life of a dog? I mean, sitting all day playing, eating and being loved by your owners, sounds to me like a little piece of heaven.” or “If you could chose to be an animal, what animal would you prefer to be?” and so on.

Creating is all about playfully using your creativity during your conversations and coming up with interesting, sometimes maybe even childish hypothetical questions…Creating it’s not about being smart, it’s about being fun and entertaining.

And lastly if you’ve tried the techniques above and you still tend to run out of things to say (because you haven’t really used the techniques above correctly), here are two more ideas that might help you out.

7. Refreshing

When your life starts following the same routine every single day, no wonder that you are running out of things to talk about. That’s why I suggest that try to spice up and vary your own life, this way you’ll have new stories to tell and new topics to discuss.

Do something new  that can give you new things to talk about. It could be watching a movie together and talking about it, reading the news, reading a new book and talking about it, going to a trip somewhere, practicing a new sport, going out and meeting new people…etc.

Anything, but getting out of your daily routine, first of all to have a more interesting lifestyle, and second of all to have new things to talk about.

8. Relaxing

And lastly, the simplest yet sometimes most effective way to prevent running out of things to say is to take little break from each other.

Take some time off of each other and let some new conversational topics pile up. Every new thing you’re doing in those hours or days while you’re not talking can be a great subject to talk about.

This is it. Now you have no excuses to complain about running out of things to say.

Other articles on the same topic.

10 Ways To Keep A Dying Conversation Going

Have Fun Skype Talks

Make Her Laugh

Add Some Sexuality In Your Talks

Doing Things Together While Talking

Doing More Than Talking

Communication Is Key: 6 Ways To Use It Effectively

Some techniques might repeat themselves, but don’t be shy and read them again, repeated information becomes learned information, and I bet that you might end up using only those few techniques that get repeated in these articles.

50 Ways To Make Your Skype / Phone Talks More Attractive 

7 Gifts For Christmas In LDRs

I realize that making a present to the person who you love most, on the most special occasion of the year, is something that you want to be unique and memorable. That’s why I am going to dare and give you a few suggestions of gifts that you could prepare for your beloved girlfriend, in a long distance relationship.

This collection of 7 long distance relationship gifts comes from my experience and they have always proven to be appreciated by the girls that I have been lucky enough to have in my life during Christmas.

1. A Special Love Letter.

As simple as it may sound, but sending her a love letter created especially for Christmas could be one of the most romantic gifts your could give her. And I am talking here about a classic letter sent by post, handwritten and decorated with love and passion.

You want to put on paper your feelings for her, your struggles of being apart, your desires and vision of being together in the future and your wishes for the next year. Or anything else that you feel would make her smile and cry and laugh again.

If  for some weird reason, you can’t send her a classic letter by post (which I highly recommend), write one and send it at least on her email. If you put some love and passion into it, she’ll love it.

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Should You BREAK-UP already?

Long distance relationships are not about fighting for something not worth fighting for. If you don’t feel like it’s worth is. Let it go. It means that it’s not serving you. Don’t just stay for the other person. You’re wasting the other person’s time.

And you’re betraying yourself, by not taking care of who you are. By not making yourself happy.

If you’re not happy, you can’t make the other person happy.

Don’t betray your partner, by thinking that you’re not breaking up just for them. When it’s actually that you’re not breaking up because you don’t have the courage. You’re too afraid of regretting this decision, and yeah sure of hurting your partner.

But here’s the thing, a relationship either makes you happy or makes you unhappy. It either enriches your life, or makes your life worse.It either helps you grow or it sabotages your growth. Which one is it for you?

Don’t just stay in a relationship for the fear of not finding such a great person again.

You will. There are.

Never stay in a relationship out of fear. Stay in a relationship out of pleasure.

If you feel doubtful and like it’s not worth it. And you’ve been feeling like that for a while, then… maybe it’s not worth it. Maybe it’s time you let go of it.

The truth is that you’ll keep suffering no matter what you do, whether you stay and you keep feeling unsure – you’ll suffer; or you leave and you regret it – you’ll suffer too. The question though is, which one of these options will help you grow most?

Will you grow most by staying or by leaving? 

I am not fighting here on the blog to convincing everybody to keep staying in a long distance relationship, just because I want to prove that they work. I want you to stay in an LDR because you LOVE your partner and you’re DEDICATED fully to make it work.

If you’re not, or if your partner is not, then it won’t work anyways!

And if you feel like dating someone local would make you happier, then go ahead. 

End the LDR and find yourself a new girlfriend.

You’re not cursed and obligated to stay in a long distance relationship, if it’s not making you happier.

I am a big believer that LDRs do work.

And I have no doubt that ANY couple could make it work if they wanted to.

But like with any relationship, it’s all a selection process, where people come together, they get to know each other and if one decides that the other it’s not a good fit, then they split up.

And just like that until you find a person you feel like it IS a good fit for you. Because that person may be compatible, but more importantly because that person KNOWS how to seduce you and keep you happy in that relationship.

Just like one of my favorite love experts says, love is not about finding the right person, it’s about doing the right things!

EXACTLY! I completely agree with that.

Not to say that compatibility doesn’t help. Because it certainly does! But once you know how love works. It’s easy to adapt to each other and actually BECOME compatible. But that’s the subject of another article.

For now, the point is that long distance relationship are TOO a selection process and MANY will fail, simply because the partners didn’t fit very well together. And not necessarily compatibility wise, but knowledge wise. One of the partner’s wasn’t good enough at making the other one happy.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly natural.

And yes, distance does amplify the struggles, it does make things harder and more uncertain, but it is CERTAINLY not the reason why most couples break up.

So going back to making an LDR work. YES it’s possible. I’ve done it. Hundreds of couples that I personally know, have done it. You can do it too. If you feel like this is worth it.

If not, then you don’t have to beat yourself up. It’s okay. Not all relationships are worth it. And not all relationship are supposed to work.

But how do you know if it’s worth fighting for? 

Well it’s as simple as asking yourself: “Is this relationship making my life better or worse?” If it’s worse, then it clearly is not something worth keeping.

Of course, you want to look at it from a longer-term perspective “How did it make my life for the past month, happier of unhappier?”

“What can I do to improve it? Let me give it another month and try my best to improve it.”

And if things don’t change…

Look at it rationally. Don’t just hold onto a relationship if it clearly doesn’t serve you. JUST BECAUSE…

Just because you’re afraid of being alone. Just because you’re not sure you can find a local partner. Just because you don’t want to hurt your partner (hint: your hurting them anyways), just because you got used so much with this person, just because you’ve made all these plans… just because…

And I know that it may seem like I’m contradicting myself, and all the work that I do here at Long Distance Lover, by encouraging you right now to “give up”. But I am not.

Because I am ALL for fighting for a relationship where there’s reciprocal love and commitment. And ALL about letting go of a relationship where there’s no reciprocal love and commitment. No matter who’s the one doubting or not loving anymore… you or your partner.

And yes, there will be times when you’ll feel insecure, uneasy, afraid… but if you LOVE your partner then these feeling won’t even shake your COMMITMENT. You’ll admit that it’s hard and painful at times, but you’ll not even think of giving up.

When a relationship is really worth it. You rarely think of letting it go. You rarely if ever question it. And if those thought come to your mind, they leave as soon as they come.

Fear and insecurities about the relationship making it or being worth, are just clouds passing by, not permanent storms making your life hard.

If you start questioning it on a regular basis, that’s the sign that it’s probably not worth it.

That’s your intuition coming up, trying to make you listen. And if you don’t listen to it, then it will make you lose time, money, and nerves and in the end get your heart broken sooner or later.

So my friend… life’s too short to be in a relationship where you’re NOT completely sure you wanna be in.

Because if that’s the case, you are betraying yourself for not listening to your truth. And you are betraying your partner by probably neglecting them and making them feel more and more afraid and insecure.

Make yourself a favor and take the bold decision, you KNOW in your heart what needs to be done.

Deep down, you already KNOW what needs to be done. You just need to find the courage to do it. And if that thing is to FIGHT, then fight with all your heart. If it’s to let go, then let go with grace. And open yourself up for a new love.

And by the way.

This article is directed to the person who is UNSURE about the relationship.

And it’s a push for them to make the tough decision. It’s me giving you permission to live your life the way that will make you happiest.

If however you are the other person, the one who really CARES and your partner is the one questioning it… then guess what?

Don’t try to convince them to stay. Just the opposite, ENCOURAGE them to do what they think is best for themselves. Because if she’ll be happy she’ll make you happy, too.

I know you don’t want to lose your partner. I know that you love her. I know that you’d be destroyed if she’d leave you.

But if she wants to go, there’s nothing you can do to convince her to stay. And by letting her go, you might actually have a chance later on to get her back.

And don’t worry, you’ll deal with it. You’ll recover. And after a while you’ll realize that losing this person (who wants to go) was actually the best gift for you. Trust me on that.

There’s BIG mistake most of us make when our partner neglects us.

Too many of us tend to overcompensate and GIVE more when our partner starts to neglect us. We hope that by giving more our partner will appreciate it and give us the attention and affection that we so much desire.

But it never works that way. And it always work the opposite way.

The more we give, in that case, the more we push our partner away, as if we’re feeding them, and they are full, they don’t want the food anymore. And we take it as a sign to feed them even more… until they think of us as completely crazy. For not taking the “hint” to stop giving.

So again, if you are the one who cares, and your partner is the one who questions the relationship. Take it as a sign to give your partner the space she needs to take her own decision. Keep being nice to her, but pull away a little bit, give her less attention and affection, and see how she will respond.

If she cares, then she’ll “freak out” she’ll realize that she cannot lose you and be motivated to make this relationship work. So it means you did well by pulling away.

If she however doesn’t even notice that you pulled away, or even more, she enjoys it. Then it means that she really doesn’t care.

And that means that there’s nothing you can do to get her back right now. And it’s the perfect time to let her go. AGAIN don’t try to convince her of how good this relationship is. Simply let her go.

And don’t judge. It’s nobody’s fault.

Don’t judge or blame your partner for questioning the relationship, it’s not their fault.

And it’s not your fault either. Plus it’s the best thing for both of you at this moment in time to actually let go of each other.

Who knows, later on in a few months or years, you might find each other again, and pick up from where you left. But if now one of you is unsure, and keeps being unsure… then it’s best to let them go. If you don’t let them go, and instead try to convince them to stay, what you’ll do is only to convince them to leave sooner, and possibly NEVER come back to you again. Just because they felt your desperation before. And it was a HUGE turn off for them.

And I say that it’s not her fault because she didn’t chose to question things. She just suddenly stopped feeling the spark and thus started questioning if it’s all worth the struggle.

However the reason why she stopped feeling the spark it’s because you didn’t keep the spark (or attraction) alive. But again, it’s not your fault simply because you didn’t know how to do it. Nobody taught you. Actually everybody taught you the wrong thing: to be nice and satisfy, but never told you about being playful and challenging.

So this time it’s not your fault for letting this relationship slip between your fingers, because you didn’t know that you needed to build attraction, and how to do it.

BUT NOW, my friend, you DO know… and you’ve gotta learn how to keep love and attraction alive, because next time it WILL be your fault. And if you don’t learn now, I am certain that the WILL be a failed next relationship too.

So to conclude:

An LDR will only work if there’s both LOVE and COMMITMENT. Once one of these starts to fade, it just won’t have the necessary strength to survive.

So if YOU are the one constantly questioning the relationship, then that’s your SIGN to let go of it… Because if that’s the case, it won’t work anyways, as your commitment is fading.

But if YOUR PARTNER is the one questioning it and is not “HELL YEAH, I wanna be in this relationship!”, then you should be “HELL NO, I don’t want to be in this relationship!”

Don’t cling to someone who’s not sure about you. As much as it may hurt, let them go… and move on with your life.

Take care my friends!

Besski Livius

And by the way, if you want to me help you find a new girlfriend, you should check out this article.