How To Keep Your Woman Faithful

Why is Infidelity Harmful?

Infidelity is the most destructive thing that can happen in a relationship. If a woman takes the decision to sleep with someone else, then it means that she does not value anymore the relationship she’s currently in.

Her reasons for taking the decision to cheat, could be various, because of curiosity, because of too much sexual desire, because of the circumstances where a guy insisted too much and she could not refuse, because of being too drunk etc. NO MATTER, what was the reason why she did it; it only means one single thing – THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP!

We, men, are very possessive human beings. We are pride driven and very egoistic when it comes to the woman we love. And when she decides to lay in bed with a man, other than us, our pride and our ego gets seriously hurt.

In that case, there are only two choices we could make:

–          Accept it, and get over it, and let the time heal the wound.

–          Or end the relationship.

If you chose the first option you are very much in trouble, because first of all you will look weak and needy thus she’ll respect you less and she’ll be tempted to do it again; secondly you’ll suffer because of it for a long time and it will hardly ever pass, and thirdly you’ll always live with that fear of being cheated again.

It’s the worst option you can choose.

If you choose the second option there’s a lot of pain involved too; you’ll have to end the relationship and suffer for a good while because of losing your beloved woman.

But the good news is that it’s temporary and even though it will take you a few months to recover, after that you’ll forget about her and go on with your life.

So, if you read so far I believe we can agree that infidelity is a really destructive thing – and never leads to positive consequences for the relationship.

How to avoid being cheated on?

I am about to share with you one of the best ways to prevent infidelity from happening in your long distance relationship.

It’s true it’s not the only way to keep a girl faithful, but it’s one of the best, so pay close attention!

Freedom of Choice

When it comes to getting people to do or not do something, the worst thing you can do is to force them.

When forcing someone to do something the only thing that you’ll succeed in doing is to get that person to find any possible ways to free him/herself from being forced. That is just common wisdom.

In terms of preventing the situation where your girlfriend decides to cheat on you, forcing her to be faithful is a bad choice too.

If you become extremely jealous, controlling and keep telling her to be a good girl, the only thing you’ll succeed is to push her more from you and into the arms other men.

People tend to like doing what they are told NOT to do!

Now what Freedom of Choice means is that you never force your girl to stay faithful, just the opposite, you give her the freedom to cheat if she feels like it, if she thinks that this what she wants. But only as long as she takes responsibility for her actions and for the fact that your relationship will end after that.

What you do is:

1)     Let her know that you DO NOT accept that your girl would cheat on you and explain the consequences of her doing so. If she ever thinks about being unfaithful then the relationship will end with no explanations.

“There are many women around that can cheat on their boyfriends without a second thought and you know what they’re called right? Well I do not want to be in a relationship with such a girl. I love you, and want you to be only mine; otherwise, the relationship will end with no explanations.”

2)     Deliberately give her the freedom to choose if she wants to be faithful or not, as long as she takes responsibility for the consequences.

“Nobody is stopping you from sleeping with other guys. Feel free to do whatever you want. But keep in mind that if you do that, you have to forget about me forever.”

3)     Let her know that if she ever cheats, no matter how much she’d try to keep it a secret, you’ll always find out about it.

“Listen, if I feel that something is wrong, and I’ll feel it for sure, then I’ll find a million ways to find out the truth. You won’t even imagine when and how I’ll discover that secret. So you better avoid it; and never assume that I won’t find out. Truth will always come out.

Now, this is a powerful way of dealing with the infidelity issue, because it puts the choice in her hands. It gives her the freedom to do that she wants, and does not force her to behave in a specific way.

It’s not you who keeps her from dating, sleeping with other guys, its herself that decides not to do it, because she wants to be with you.

If you restrict her to look at, or sleep with other men, then those men, will become “the forbidden fruit” for her, and they will be much more attractive in her eyes, but if you just allow her to do what she wants, all of a sudden it’s like…”okay that man is cool, I can have him , it’s not forbidden, but let’s see… is it worth it to sleep with that guy and loose the really good one that I have right now?

Well, yes or no. If you are an attractive man, then the answer will always be no, but if its yes, then she’s not your long-term partner anyways, and you’ll lose her at some point when it will be even harder (marriage, children, house, friends etc)

So the idea is to give her the Freedom, but before doing that you must explain her carefully all the consequences of using that freedom. And if she loves you and wants stick around, she’ll make sure to be only yours.

Last Thoughts

Giving her the freedom of choice, does not mean that you’ll stop being jealous, because you can’t do that, it’s in our nature to be jealous.

So, you’ll still be jealous, and show her that you don’t like when she’s expressing too much attention to other men, but you’ll be expressing your jealousy in a healthy manner from there on.

But that’s the subject of another article:  How To Deal With Your Jealousy

All the best,

Besski Livius

About Livius Besski

After knowing nothing about love and getting his heart broken over and over again, Livius has decided to figure this topic out. And for the past 10 years he has discovered the counter-intuitive way love works, has created a system for overcoming neediness (which is holding most guys back) and is now sharing all of his practical advice here on the site.


  1. Roger says:

    Keeping a woman faithful is such a hard thing to do, and I think that the way you present this idea of giving her freedom of choice is actually genius…I’ve never though if it like this before, and now that I’ve read this idea from you I feel little stupid. It sounds so logical and so natural to give my girlfriend freedom to do what she wants, because she’ll do what she wants anyways at some point…and it’s so much worse to be annoying her with my jealousy.

    Thanks for the idea, and keep up the good work. By the way congrats with putting up this new website, seems like you really like what you’re doing!

    • Thanks Roger,
      This principle comes from my own experience and also from a lot of interviews with people that have lived enough to realize that this is the only way to deal with the issue of infidelity. Now, even though this is a very effective principle on its own, there’s much more to keeping a woman in love and faithful in a serious long term, and especially long distance relationship.

      This principle is just one part of the puzzle. If you read through the articles on this website, read my free ebook as well, and generally stay connected with all the new articles that I’ll be posting…you’ll start to discover some of the other pieces of this big puzzle.

  2. This is by far the best LDR article i’ve read.Keep guiding us 🙂

  3. ktmack says:

    I think the best way to get your girl not to cheat is to choose the right girl. If she either doesn’t have a lot of ethics, doesn’t really love you, or does not want commitment, then IMO you save a lot of tears and pain if you just let her go. I feel that with the right “type” of person, you won’t have to work too hard to get them not to cheat.

  4. Kimberly says:

    This is worst advice to give a man to keep a woman faithful. You had it half right. Give her freedom of choice. The second half was pure hypocrisy. If you threaten her with an end to the relationship if she chooses something YOU would not want for her then you have effectively taken away her freedom of choice. That is emotional and psychological manipulation and the woman that falls for it is either insecure or witless, or both. I am a 43 year old attractive woman. I get attention and from men in ages as young as 20. I was faithful to a man for over twenty years, a jealous man that told me the same words you advise on this page. Guess what? The man that claimed he would leave in the case of infidelity was the first to stray and became a possessive nightmare when I was the one that called it quits.
    Now, I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over a year and this man absolutely knows what freedom of choice means. He encourages me to sexually explore and test the waters. It has the exact opposite effect you would expect. It has made us more connected. We discuss my experiences with other men and I find out what disappoints me and he finds out more about me. Talk about conversation starters! The best part is I discovered I’ve fallen in love with a man that understands love is about caring for the other person and ensuring they experience all that makes them happy and fulfills their needs, with or without you.
    Sex doesn’t lead a woman astray. Lack of the right attention and a controlling view of commitment will effectively create bitterness and resentment in her though.
    You have to ask yourself which is more important; she denies experiences of pleasure for you or you become greater of a man in her eyes because you are free of jealousy and insecurity. Really, no other man can compare to a man willing to give a woman an option to sex with other men. She loves him physically, intellectually, but the emotional deepens even more in an open relationship. She cannot deny he really cares.
    Jealous men are a dime a dozen. The difference between what you have written and what I suggest is that our relationship takes trust and honesty to a greater depth. Subsequently, our connection is only closer.

    • Great point Kimberly. In terms of the idea in the article, first half gives freedom of choice, second half just mentions the realistic truth… that the relationship would end anyways in the case of unfaithfulness.