We CLOSED The Distance! And YOU CAN Too!

Hey guys,

So, here’s the big ANNOUNCEMENT that I have for you today!



We reduced the distance between us to “0”, and not for a week, not for a month, but apparently ‘forever’.

After 2.5 years of dating long distance my current girlfriend, and after 7.8 years of total long distance relationship experience, it is finally over.

My long distance relationship experience ends here.

I think I’ve had enough for two lifetimes, and while it was a great experience FULL with memorable moments, countless “honeymoons”, trips and adventures, thousands of hours of fun Skype talks, countless surprises and romantic moments…it is time to get a taste of classic relationships too.

But here’s the GOOD news, now that we’ve closed the distance, I am even more excited and motivated to help YOU make your long distance relationship work and inspire you to hopefully close the distance soon too!

So, as many people asked me so far…! We did it…What’s our SECRET?

And before I reveal our secret, I want to make sure that you understand one important thing:

We Are NOT Special! I am not special, I don’t have any superpowers, I am just like you, a long distance lover who has the same fears, frustrations…the same problems to deal with and the same challenges to overcome. I’ve just overcome these barriers through experience and education on the topic of relationships.

And while you don’t need a 7 years experience with long distance relationships like I have, you can and should EDUCATE yourself about how to make a long distance relationship work. Which you are doing right now because you are reading this article, so Congratulations.

You are talking responsibility for your love life, and I am confident that it will make you 100x times happier than the people who rely on luck and guessing in their love lives and end up with a broken hearth over and over again.

And one more thing: When we started this long distance relationship, we had no idea if you could ever close the distance and how would we do it. We just knew one thing, and that is that we loved each other and that we wanted to make this relationship work.

So, without further ado, here are the four main tips that helped us make it til the end.

1. We looked forward to our next meetings, and NOT to the time we’d close the distance.

So, often couples are terrified and discouraged when they look to the horizon of their long distance relationship and they cannot see anything. And therefore they assume that because RIGHT NOW they cannot see land, they simply assume there is no “land” for them,  being mislead by the thick fog.

In a long distance relationship, especially one where you don’t know yet when you’ll be able to close the distance, you have to let yourself and your patience be guided by the next visit that you’ll have, and therefore be inspired to fight for the relationship, and that because you KNOW that even if at the moment a closing the distance opportunity is not clear yet, it will be the closer you get to it.

You have to pass through that fog to see the promise land.

long distance relationships work

2. We became CURIOUS about the future, and NOT discouraged by it.

This is an important shift that you HAVE to make in your thinking.

When you are uncertain if this relationship can work or not, it’s easy to become worried, discouraged and even hopeless.

And the problem is that these feelings WILL actually bring your relationship down, they become self fulfilling prophecies because they kill your enthusiasm and you stop fighting for your relationship.

So instead of looking at your future together in a pessimistic way, chose to become curious about what the future is holding for you, and take it day by day, week by week, and month by month. If it’s not meant to work out because you’re not compatible, fine, but it sure enough won’t be because you gave up too soon and too easily.

Fear intimidates you, while curiosity empowers you!

long distance relationship advice

3. I’ve passionately educated myself on the topic of relationships.

Here’s the difference between people who are happy in their love lives and the ones who suffer, even when they should be happy: education.

And the worst part is that MOST people suffer even when they should be happy in their love lives. Jealousy, fights, lying, lack of respect, unmet needs, unmet expectations…all of these clouding their minds and souls and making them feel unhappy when being in love with someone.

Many people would agree on the fact that Love brings Suffering, just like Money brings Evil.

Well, I completely disagree with these statements – Love can bring joy and happiness when studied and understood, instead of being neglected and left to chance; and Money can bring freedom, when studied and understood, and thus earned right and spent right.

So, don’t leave your relationship to chance, because you’ll suffer. Chose to educate yourself on this topic, learn how to keep love alive and how to deal with common relationship problems and you’ll be happier for a lifetime!

do long distance relationships work

4. We’ve celebrated our long distance relationship as a REAL relationship, not as a temporary pain in the ass.

This is yet another shift that you need to make in your mind: Long Distance Relationships are REAL relationships.

And when you finally accept this idea and start taking your long distance relationship seriously, that’s when you start to enjoy it more, appreciate it more and make it work easier.

Just like a classic relationship, a long distance one has it’s advantages and it’s disadvantages, and the truth is that long distance relationships have some really nice advantages…

> you get to travel more, see places, and have new and fun adventures;

>  you get to develop your communication skills, as this is the only connection to your girlfriend, and just like a blind man develops his hearing – you get to develop your communication.

> you get to have more free time to work, study and be productive.

…and overall, you get to love and feel loved while at the same time being independent and living your life.

I know that she’s not there at your side, and you miss her touch and presence, but this does not mean that you have to hate this relationship, it just means that you have something to look forward to.

And with these 4 tips in mind, you can lift the negative curtain from in front of your eyes and see your long distance relationship in a better light, thus making it easier to see a potential closing the distance opportunity and and even more important sustaining the relationship until that fortunate time.

We did it, thousands of couples do it every day, and you can do it too!

Take care,

Besski Livius

Photo Sources: lawrence windush, archives canada


About Livius Besski

After knowing nothing about love and getting his heart broken over and over again, Livius has decided to figure this topic out. And for the past 10 years he has discovered the counter-intuitive way love works, has created a system for overcoming neediness (which is holding most guys back) and is now sharing all of his practical advice here on the site.


  1. Hello Besski,

    I’ve been viewing your site for the past couple of months as my girlfriend and I began our LDR back in May. All of the experience you share is incredibly important to keeping these sorts of things alive and I am very happy that you are a man that knows this and wants to share that with all of us. Congratulations on closing the distance with your girlfriend. The news is very exciting and it continues to inspire me and my relationship. Your words are very much appreciated and have helped me keep the love alive with my girlfriend. Congrats again, Besski.


    Corey A.

  2. Hello, thank you for sharing 😉 I hope that mine will work, and will be more strong, because I love my man.

  3. Lisa says:

    My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me because he cant handle the strain of a long distance anymore and he misses being in a normal relationship. He moved to the US in Jan 2013, he came to visit me in South Africa in march 2013 and i went to the US to visit him in Dec 2013 and January 2014. I’ve been applying for jobs that side but i haven’t received any job offers. He’s problem is closing the distance because he’s worried that i might to get the opportunity to move to the US anytime soon and he’s certain that he want to be there. He broke up with me because of the distance and not because he doesn’t love me anymore. I asked him not to give up on love and us and he said is we are meant to be together, we will be together. Should i give up on us as it seems like this is what he wants? its definitely not what i want