Rich Man, Poor Man

I decided to write this article because I found myself thinking a few times about what do women really want in terms of financial situation of a man. Do they want a rich man that is able to greatly provide for them, or do they want to blindly fall in love and not care about money at all.

Also at some point in a relationship this topic will be brought up, that’s why I want to give you some good ideas and arguments that can help you not only stay calm and avoid frustration for not being wealthy enough to satisfy all your girlfriends desires, but also to make her see and understand this matter in a healthy manner.

There is a popular belief that women are very materialistic and they are attracted to money, expensive cars and mansions. If you talk to an older man or woman they will tell you that nowadays, we men, should be very careful because women want only to stick their hands in our pockets and that’s it.

But in reality, as David Deida says, and I agree, women ultimately want love. They want to love and feel loved, but preferably not starve in the process.

So yes, being wealthy surely helps, but it’s not indispensable. And I’ll talk a bit later about what is indispensable.

Rich Man Choice

However, there surely are women that manipulate men and use them for their money. And other women that hunt specifically for rich men to have relationships with.

Well in this case they are basically selling themselves, and they will be treated accordingly – as a commodity. They will be used and then ignored or even worse thrown away. (Read: men will get bored of them and then leave them for another “commodity”).

Note: I don’t claim a woman to be a commodity, I claim materialistic women to be a commodity when they manipulate or hunt for rich men.

We men, we’re not stupid and most of the times we understand when a woman wants us for our money, and it’s just a matter of time until we leave such a woman, and that corresponds with the time when we get bored of her, or we find another woman, better than the current one.

So when desiring a rich man, while he may be attractive in the short term and provide a woman with an all inclusive lifestyle, in the long run it will backfire. (and who knows how long that may last)

Note: I don’t sustain the idea that rich men use women as a commodity. I sustain the idea that rich men use materialistic women as a commodity.

Poor Man Choice

Now, on the other side of the coin, there are poor men. And by poor I mean men that are not making enough money to live a normal, mature life, they either live with their parents until late 20-s, don’t want to work, or have a low paid job and are not ambitious enough to get a better one.

Note: I am not talking here about students.

These are the men that women see as poor. And it’s pretty obvious that being with such a man is not a woman’s dream. Short term a woman can stay in a relationship with such a man, but that’s until she gets tired of having to spend money on him or tired of not being able to afford a normal life.

I once asked an older woman if she loved her husband, and her answer kind of surprised me at that time. She said:

Love is not enough. I do love my husband for example but if he wouldn’t be able to provide for our family, what use would love be for? We need to eat before we can love and think about all the other things.

Sure there are also poor unambitious women who settle for poor unambitious men, and live together a poor unambitious life. But I am talking here about quality women.

Therefore, to conclude on these two options, we can say that desiring a rich man is not a good long term option for a woman, and being with a poor man is not a favorable option either.

So, how do we solve this dilemma?

The Right Choice

As I said at the beginning of this article I’ve been thinking a lot about this issue, and to my pleasant surprise I’ve found the answer in a book written by a priest. A book dedicated to women, teaching them how they should approach the matter of relationships.

Well, in that book the priest talked also about what should a woman chose ‘a rich man that can provide’ or a ‘poor man that she really loves’. And his recommendation in this case was to choose a man that is hardworking, responsible and ambitious, no matter his current financial situation. And that’s because an ambitious man may become rich at some point. If he doesn’t, he’ll still provide for his family, but he’ll hardly ever become poor.

And for me that was the “aha” that I needed. Since then I had my peace of mind, and stopped being worried about not being rich enough to delight my girlfriend in a material way, because now I understand that what is necessary isn’t money, but being responsible and having the ability and potential to provide for the family.

If you still belong to the category of men that are considered as “poor” by women, then stop feeling frustrated by it and start looking for solutions.

Keep Calm And Be Ambitious

If you are not wealthy enough, but you’re ambitious and hardworking, you can calm down. And in case this issue arises in your relationship, and even if it does not arise, you can bring it up and help your girlfriend understand it right.

Now you can tell her that choosing a rich guy intentionally means selling herself. And of course she wouldn’t wanna be with a poor guy either. That’s why the best choice is to be with a guy that is hardworking and ambitious.(hint: that’s you) Because this guy may become rich at some point, if not he’ll still provide for his family, but he’ll hardly ever be poor.

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About Livius Besski

After knowing nothing about love and getting his heart broken over and over again, Livius has decided to figure this topic out. And for the past 10 years he has discovered the counter-intuitive way love works, has created a system for overcoming neediness (which is holding most guys back) and is now sharing all of his practical advice here on the site.


  1. Verbote says:

    1. Despite what many believe, idle hands are not the devils workshop.

    2. Poverty has very little to do with motivation or “hard work.” It has far more to do with: one’s class/ family/ social and peer group. In addition consider the factors of educatability, family organization and structure, location and access to appropriate pedagogy in quality schools.

    Please remember: economics and personal capitol are societal constructs made to enforce a class system in a post-monarchy democracy. (yes i realize that the US is not technically a democracy, that is not my point.)

    My point is that simply working hard, being “good,” and doing the right thing is not enough for many to succedd no mater how hard they try.

    Life is not some quaint Horatio Algers novel where hard work and determination pays off.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. Yesterday, I had a first date with a solid no-doubt nine. And she was giving me puppy dog eyes. I woke up today feeling like, I can’t believe: “Why is she interested in me? Why not some rich guy?”

    Now I understand, I was showing her respect. Not trying to buy her. Women want to be loved, not bought. There’s so much crap in men’s heads, and broadcast over the media. You have to have money, cars, yachts. I’m surprised that you can have nothing – well, no material goods – and still attract the most beautiful women.

    Conclusion: What attracts a woman? – A man’s personality